lost something, finding something

twisting and turning
in a space that's too small
drawing the line and watching it fall

i can't explain why its not enough, why the pieces don't fit anymore.
please dont hate me for all this shit, im just as confused as you are.

where'd my mojo go?

watching boys over flowers, late night-early morning suppers at random places, tennis with usual khaki, checking out interesting stuff on the net (like this video here), sleeping too little in the night & napping too much in the day. Having no school these days are ruining my momentum, got work to do yet lacking the excitement to start.

to add on, to the list of "procrastination is"
procrastination is renewing your library books' return due date for the 3rd time & still not getting started on them :(
procrastination is blogging about how much work you have instead of getting them done.
SIGH!

for a moment

im now tuning into Pintu Radio through itunes, where merwyn is guest deejaying. And because of this really cute indo song which i dont understand the lyrics at all, im extremely amused! cant stop laughing at the computer screen. OH and now my song is being played :D :D

ah hahaha im all smiles now, feeling less jaded with everything (:
this week was insane. especially since i spent alot of time dealing with gericault's portraits of the insane & charcot's performance of hysteria.

looking forward to sunday with baby. havent really spoken to him for a few days cos of some army activity he's involved with. miss him much ):

something to look forward to

dbd(: bought the tickets as promised & they're now tucked safely in my purse waiting for 15march. Disney on Ice - Princess Wishes here we come, again hahaha! :D

things are gonna be crazy these two weeks, time is flying by and im not getting things done fast enough..! today was quite a depressing day, bad news all day long. dont really want to talk about it. just want to cross my fingers & hope things will be okay at the very end.
i love u & i want to be there for you this time.

luckily joo made corn soup which left this nice smell in our room, the smell of homecooked food haha (:

two eggs & a slice of pizza

joo's surprise hard boiled eggs and flor's bday hawaiian pizza made today seem less unlucky than it should be;

woke up late for school, got dressed in record time of 5 minutes. about to leave hall, accidentally leaned on the wall which was freshly painted. got paint all over my right side; arms, clothes and hair. ran to the toilet and attempted to wash it off, cleaner auntie tried to help. used the cloth she used to clean the sinks (and maybe even toilet bowls) to scrub my hair. i was still very grateful though. paint refused to budge, ran back to room, grabbed black sweater and draped it across my right shoulder. left hall avoiding all the green walls this time. caught bus C straightaway (thank goodness) tim called to ask if im buying breakfast and whether i could help him buy (the last thing i would expect someone to ask me when im half covered in ugly green paint and running late for class). reached class late but not very late. had people asking me about my "white hair" (its dirty green actually if you look really closely). the paint didnt go away even after a thorough shower, my white top is a goner and i had to snippity snip some hair off.

& that pretty much sums up my unlucky day.
SIGHH. i thought such things only happen in Mr Bean comedies ):
midterm break starts today, woohoo!

(no subject)

i was talking, walking, talking. And i walked into a metal pole.
just like that.

stupid pole.

hello new layout!

happy chinese niu year! this cny, alot of unfortunate mishaps happened to my toes. bloody mishaps haha. & i made alot of boo-boos. like forgetting to cut my fingernails before cny and oweing 9$ worth of library fines. im quite a superstitious person but somehow, this year, i forgot all about the must-dos and dont-dos haha. felt that cny arrived a little too soon! i wasn't prepared, new clothes were also bought at the very last minute. sigh.

& vday is around da corner..! remember angels&mortals, song dedication, roses, balloons, cookies and cupcakes last last year and last last last year. awww. wonder what's it gonna be like this year hmm.

ALRIGHT. have to go bai nian to baby's parents now then off to hyatt for dinner with family (my dad is back from dubai!)

2009.

a very belated merry 09 to all.
and thankQ to baby, mummy, jie, my lovelies, the twins and pear for bday pressies and everyone else for the well wishes(:

school starts tmr, not really in the mood but i guess that doesnt change things.
haha goodnight!

ice cold grey

how do you start talking to someone you havent spoken to for like 3 years.
why does it feel awkward empty and like there's nothing to talk about when we used to be able to crap nonstop.
i guess the time i took to heal took away much of what we shared.

countdown

meet monmon, a creature i created for audrey's xmas badge collection, here's two designs i really fancy(:







counting down the days till i return home. missing my bed, bolster and tooop like crazy.
xiuuu get well soon..after you recover i'll bring you go have good food okay(: hugs.

twilight is love

im now in daddy's abu dhabi hotel apartment and the wireless internet here is kind of slow and keeps kicking me out.

hmmm weather here is cold, especially the winds. took ALOT of pictures. & i bought a xmas tree. we've been eating mummy's homecooked meals, watching desperate housewives and grey's anatomy aired every night, reading the twilight ebooks evon sent me.

now the fun begins.

exams are over! got so many things to do(:

jiayou to all those still having papers! its gonna be over real soon.

and congrats sweetheart, you are now 3 stripes hee so proud of you(:

i need all the goodluck in the world

submitted. had a weird funny not so pleasant feeling when i handed it up. wish me luck ):

take me away

waiting, again. by my phone.

you are back but, it feels like you're still there. 

so many question marks running through my head.

whatever happened to "i miss you so badly"?

did you really? or was it just me.

the tears you dont see.

im tired ):

jumbled up inside

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): ):
what is wrong with me...............................................

Its July

Hello Happy 4th July~
For the past 2 weeks I've been busy
handing over everything to Sandy (my replacement)
rushing designs for submission
having crazy+fun+crazy farewell dinners (2 to be exact)

This week I have,
packed my shoe cupboard (I have 5 new pair of shoes waiting for me, gosh)
packed my clothes cupboard
collected all my Animation certs from the respective schools
applied for CITREP

Just today, I
went down to NTU at 9am to have my medical checkup.
Despite drinking soo much water beforehand, I had a hard time getting
half a plastic cup of pee out of me :X Must've been a tad too nervous.
submitted the tuition grant form
searched & found Hall 6 (I hope I get in)
signed up for the ADM orientation camp, yippee :D

This July, Im going to stay home and
blog regularly
test out some pretty cool baking recipes
read the books I bought
keep practising Maya & 3DSMax
exercise, exercise!
{many many more}

Right this second

I am:
missing SS much much :) (in a happy way)
proud of him cos he got into where he wanted to be, SISPEC.
in a good mood cos he told me there's no confinement this week
= I'll get to see him during the weekends, yippee :) :D

//edit: SS called to say if he cant get gold for IPPT he wont be able
to come out on Friday and if he dont pass IPPT, he'll get kicked out
of SISPEC. Yikes!

I cant wait:
to see Pear this tuesday during staff dinner!
for July to come, oh there's soo many things I wna do!

Happy Monday everyone! :D

take me away

when I realised I could find no one else to turn to,
when I realised I was more alone than I thought I was,
you came to my rescue yet again.

and you're the only one that's keeping me sane.
with you around, I dont need anyone or anything else.
I never thought this would be the case and I never wanted it to be
but over the long weekend, I realised that this is so very true.
its like a game and unknowingly, I made myself lose on purpose.
how is that possible? well it is when all you want is
to get out.

all I want to do now is to go away, somewhere, anywhere, with you.
together with my storybooks and polaroid camera.
where no one will comment that what Im doing is wrong,
where no one will make me upset with just a single sms,
where no one will tell me that I should be someone Im not.

yet another build up of insecurities.
go away.